Sunday, February 22, 2015
Mental Illness and Hypocrisy
I had a friend of nearly 19 years and was abruptly cut out of the picture during the time of her wedding. I received a letter from her in the mail, she didn't have it in her to face me and tell me that we had grown up and grown apart and she would be a hypocrite if she had me in her wedding as a bridesmaid. To this day, I've never mentioned it nor talked with her about it and we don't talk all that all that often just a casual hi - how are you on facebook, but it still hurts my heart- even though its been nearly 20 years since it all transpired. What I don't understand is the fact we went through nearly everything together growing up and up into our early 20's but obviously It was the fact that I had been diagnosed with having bipolar disorder and had been put on a few medications which I'll admit, in the beginning they were mood altering meds and she didn't understand any of it, nor did she want to. She accused me of being high! She didn't have anyone in her life experiencing what I did to begin to understand what I was going through. I had a few nervous breakdowns over the years but thankfully once they found the right medications, I've since had a pretty "normal" life! I try to tell myself that she didn't mean any harm because she was not educated in mental illness- and theres always going to be a stigma that goes hand in hand where people believe that because it's a disease of the mind, we are then crazy! (If I had a disease of the pancreas I would have diabetes- but thats ok where as mental illness is still not really acceptable and people get labeled unfairly.) I've been holding all this in so long- sorry for venting on and on!